How to say no to someone?

If you want to know how to say no and get rid of self- collection and self - judgment, I invite you to continue reading this article. 

It is clear that helping others and pleasing those we love is important and valid, however, it is no longer healthy when it leads us to act against our goals and what we believe is right. For all this, it is very important to know how to say no with tranquility and without taboos, after all, when someone makes a request to you, there is always the option to accept or reject and this can perfectly be done in a polite way, without creating intrigue or enmity.

 "When you say yes to others, make sure you do not say no to yourself." - Paulo Coelho 

Why to Say No?

Before learning how to say no it is also important to know why you should be saying no to people. When we always respond favorably to the needs and demands of everyone, we NEGLECT and FORGET what is important for US.

Let me just simplify this by providing just the key points

• When we want to please everyone, all the time, we do not take confidence in ourselves. 
• By not expressing our own needs and desires, we do not act in accordance with ourselves and we lose our personal value. 
• If you do not set your limits towards toxic people, you might end up feeling abused, guilty and manipulated
• If you want to develop an assertive communication, you must be able to say no
• It is our RIGHT to say no 

Many people agree to things, would even prefer to do things they do not know how to, just to avoid the discomfort of saying No. Ultimately saying so gives greater navigation over our lives and grants us the opportunity to build a fulfilling, meaningful life on our own terms.

According to authors James Altucher and Claudia Azula in their new book The Power of No: Because One Little Word Can Bring Health, Abundance and Happiness, not only do we have the RIGHT TO SAY NO, we have an entire Bill of Rights for doing so. 

"Remember, when you say no to others and things you don’t want, you are saying yes to something better – yourself."   

How to Say No?

NO, just a two letter word,  who thought would be so hard to say, even complicated. Many of us feel that its just WRONG to say no. 
Here’s the good news: Saying no is a skill you can sharpen. The more you say no, the more natural it’ll feel.
Here are several ways to build the skill of saying no in different situations — even if it feels like you’re doing it from the ground up.

Be Selfish

Yes, its okay to be selfish. Prioritize your work. Not of the person who ask you for something. If you prioritize that person's work over yours, your productivity will suffer and resentment will mount. 

Speak Clearly 

Don't be awkward or be embarrassed while rejecting other person's request. Try to speak clearly, without making a fuss or finding an excuse. For instance, if a friend asks you out for a movie, that you do not want to watch or have the time for it, be clear, say," thanks i can't come i don't have the time, i have work, i don't want to " etc. Speak in a simple and a polite way making the situation comfortable, 

Ask for time to think if necessary 

When the invitation or request in question involves something you are not sure whether or not to accept, take time to reflect and think about it before making a decision. In this reflection, consider the pros and cons and place them on the scale, so that you can identify what weighs most for you. Just be careful not to take too long to answer, as respecting each other's time is critical. 

Understand that you are rejecting the situation and not the person

The taboo involved in saying is not linked mainly to the fact that many think they are rejecting more than one situation. If a friend invites you to travel with him on the weekend and you can't go because you have important things to do, your rejection will be on the trip and not on the friend. BELIEVE ME, things are much simpler and more natural than you think, by realizing this you will be able to see everything much more lightly. 

Offer an alternative

Offering an alternative calms down the situation and gets the load off. Direct them to someone else who might be able to help them. This will show your willingness to help, be genuine, even if you cannot directly participate in what you were proposed to do. 

Setting Boundaries

People sometimes have a hard time saying no because they haven't taken the time to evaluate their relationship and understand their role within the relationship. When you truly understand the dynamic and your role, you won't feel as worried about the consequences of saying no. You'll realize that your relationship is solid and can withstand your saying no. 

Express Gratitude

Sometimes it's difficult to say "NO" to a person because the person asking from you is very dear to you. So, naturally you feel bad for saying no. By all means shower the other person with gratitude but stay firm. Use phrases like - "thank you for thinking of me", "you coming to me means a lot" etc. 

Never over explain just say - I'm sorry I can't do this right now

some people just cannot understand as to why you are saying no to their request. In those times, depending upon the relation you have with the person give a brief explanation. Be assertive and being polite just say "I'm sorry". Most reasonable people will accept this answer, so if someone keeps pressuring you, they're rude. 

 The difference between successful people and very successful people is that very successful people say no to almost everything." - Warren Buffet

A considered no protects you. A good yes allows you to serve others, add value, and collaborate effectively. If you become skilled at conveying both, you can avoid burnout, increase your influence, and enhance your reputation.

Relax and just say "No"

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